The Just Us League - LRC Issue 55

The Just Us LeagueLost Rocket Comics Issue 54 now on sale.
As the year draws to a close, Lost Rocket Comics brings you the latest installment of the Infinity War Saga.

The Coloniser and Misogynisto have captured Captain PussyGrab's soul (see Lost Rocket issue no.4533) and is trying to bend his will to their own.
The drums of war are beating again as the Just Us League aims to spread 'democracy' in Iran.

See below for a sneak peak inside...

The Just Us League




Infinity Wars Special - LRC Issue 54

Rocketman vs. Captain PussygrabberLost Rocket Comics Issue 54 now on sale.
Captain Pussygrab squares off against Rocketman in this gathering of dark forces. BIGGER weapons, BIGGER genocide, BIGGER war, BIGGER spectacle.




George Bush - Dead!

George Bush shot deadGeorge Bush, former president of the United States, has been executed at his Texas compound in the early hours of wednesday morning. The raid and final execution was the result of a joint international effort spanning months and carried out by Iraqi and Afghan special forces.
Bush has been an international fugitive since he was found guilty at the International Criminal Court for two wars of aggression against Iraq and Afghanistan. It has long been suspected that he was hiding in the United States, but an uncooperative US government has made it difficult for international investigators.

After an unknown source revealed that Bush was hiding in plain sight on his Texas ranch (he was living in an underground bunker and never left the house), Afghan and Iraqi governments decided to perform the raid without the knowledge of the US government.
Two special forces teams entered the US with the help of the Mexican government, crossing the border into Texas in two attack helicopters. Flying very close to the ground to avoid detection, the raid was scheduled for a night with very little moonlight.

Even though the purpose of the raid was only to kill Bush, 3 other people were also killed; two bodyguards and Barbara Bush (daughter) who startled the special forces agents as they entered the house.
Upon approaching the underground bunker Bush apparently stuck his head outside the door and realising what was happening, slammed the door shut. According to reports, upon entering the bunker bush was standing in his night gown pushing Laura Bush in front of him like a shield. As he tried to reach for a gun that was lying on the night stand, special forces opened fire, bullets striking him in the chest and head, killing him instantly. It was during this exchange that Laura Bush was injured.
According to Afghan officials the body was taken back over the border and buried in an unmarked grave in the Mexican desert so that "...his grave does not become a shrine." The attached image is the only evidence of the body.




Zuma Trial - Day 1

Dazed and ConfusedFormer president Jacob Zuma appeared for the first time in court today after being captured last month at his controversial Nkandla homestead.
A frail looking Zuma was pushed into court in a wheelchair after injuries sustained during his arrest left him with a broken leg and cracked ribs. A packed courtroom erupted in chaos at the sight of the former strongman with news of his appearance spreading quickly to the jubilant thousands gathered outside the court. A strong police presence managed to control the angry crowd and calm was restored in court after 10 minutes.

The more than 700 charges were read out to Zuma who appeared dazed and confused throughout, his mouth open, small buckteeth protruding. He also apeared to be mumbling to no one in particular, staring vacantly into the distance. He was not asked to plead.

Zuma was arrested last month after weeks of mass protests throughout the country forced him to call in the army to bring an end to the protest. After the army refused to intervene, he fled to his Nkandla home. The news spread and soon there were crowds outide Nkandla. After being refused entry into the grounds the angry crowd overran security and stormed the home.
Eventually Zuma was found hiding in a drainpipe. Luckily members of the army was there to extract him as he was set upon by the angry mob. He was taken into protective custody and held until his court appearance today.




Bread and Circuses

Bread and CircusesThe City of Cape Town has decided to extend its NoonGun Extravaganza™ to lower-to-middle middleclass residents (earning up to R40 000 p/m) starting January 2018. Originally started in 2010 during the soccer world cup in Cape Town, the NoonGun Extravaganza™ was seen as a way to both boost tourism and curb the problem of homeless people in the city.
Prior to the tournament homeless people were randomly picked up by police and removed to informal settlements or shelters outside the city. The reality was the homeless didn't fit in with the image that the city wanted to portray (especially) to foreign visitors, that of a first world city with limited crime and poverty.

The problem was that the homeless kept on coming back. Also, due to the difficult economic circumstances in South Africa, there was a constant influx of new homeless people. On the eve of the 2010 world cup, the city saw an opportunity to have their cake and eat it. Public executions.

Instead of constant removal from the city, homeless people could volunteer to be executed by the noon gun; i.e. the gun would be loaded with live amunition and then fired at the person in front of it. In return the city offered to put the name of the volunteer on a gold plaque which would be put on a wall in the Noon Gun cafeteria. Plus if the volunteer had any family they would get a once off payment of R50 000. At R10 000 per ticket (only 100 tickets available) members of the public could witness the event which was held once every 2 weeks.
It was an instant hit with tourists and locals alike.

On Wednesday it was announced that middleclass residents were also eligible to take part in the NoonGun Extravaganza™. This comes after years of rapidly rising living costs in the city especially with regards to rent, which has skyrocketed over the last 3 years, finding an increasing number of residents unable to make a living in the city. With the city unwilling to look into the rent issue, more and more residents are becoming desperate for alternatives.
According to a city spokesperson by willing to sacrifice themselves for the NoonGun Extravaganza™ initiative, the families of the deceased will be allowed to stay in the city rent free for a year.

Tickets for the 2018 season goes on sale next month.




The People's Democratic Republic of South Africa - Pt. 1
Not quite the Colossus
Not quite the Colossus
Zuma statue collapse
Jesus Came

The junta was left with more than a bit of egg on its face after the statue of the 'Prescious Leader' collapsed barely a week after its unveiling. The 50m tall statue was unveiled last week Thursday as part of the junta's effort to boost public opinion of the embattled president. This latest public relations stunt comes scarcely a year after a similar effort to boost the party leaders' public appeal by changing his title to 'Precious Leader for Life'. The 'for Life' bit was later dropped.
Even in a country where criticism of the party leaders are not tolerated, the reign of the current leader has put all of government's tools of state oppression under immense strain with a record number of incidences of public unrest and civil disobedience.

According to the government website: '...the Precious Leader acts like a father to all citizens of this country. The statue will be a place where people can come to find hope and peace'.
The first picture (also taken from the government website) show the still standing statue complete with praying accolytes at its feet. The right hand shows the clenched fist which represents the power of the people and the left hand indicates the number 1, alluding to his previous title as 'Nr. 1'.
Security was tight yesterday as scores of people flocked to 'ground zero' to take pictures of the fallen statue. No photography was allowed, but I managed to get a shot of the debris partly obscured by a security guards' hand. The area was quickly cordoned off and remains off limits. There has been no official statement from government to date.